Living with Lichen planus

1/17/2012

Lichen Planus is a condition that can affect the tongue and the skin - including the fanny. Sufferers can experience growths on the skin that can be painful, itchy, dry and/or undulating. As yet, it is unkowkn what causes the condition and it sadly difficult to treat. One brave Open Forumer opens about about her battle with the condition.

I didn't know I had Lichen Planus (LP), or vulvovaginal-gingival lichen planus to be precise. This was because, unusually, mine was not painful. I went to the doctor about something else that turned out to be vaginal vitiligo, another skin condition, and that was when I found out I'd also had LP for some time. Untreated, the condition had eaten away my inner labia and changed the architecture of my vagina.

After that consultation I went home and did something I hadn't done in a very long time. I put a mirror on the floor and squatted over it. LP leaves areas of very dark, rough skin and, coupled with the vitiligo, had produced an enormously strange patchwork of textures and colours. The contour of the inside of my vagina had changed too, hollowed out where my inner labia used to be. It looked like I'd been hacked and burned. No one had even mentioned disfigurement. The shock was deep and lasting. I went into a deep depression that affected my relationships and my work.

The hospital medics were fairly disinterested. Maybe they'd just given up. "More research is needed" was all I heard. None of them acknowledged the psychological toll. Eventually my GP referred me to psychotherapy and I slowly began to allow for the idea that I might not be a lost cause and that somebody might just want me for myself and not be concerned about a physical problem.

It was five years after discovering I had LP that I had sex again and two years after that before I believed my partner wasn't bothered by it. These days I'm much less bothered than before.

About a year ago I started attending Fannying Around and, for the first time, told strangers about it. It was a great relief. I found a group of women who were empowering themselves by learning about their bodies and talking about their experiences, problems and maladies in a safe, accepting environment.

I recently attended Open Forum where I can explore my feelings about the condition in more depth and have them healthily acknowleged but controlled. They are just one part of me, they don't have to define me and neither does LP. I can change my reaction to it and both Open Forum and Fannying Around have helped me to achieve and maintain that.

Now, there are still moments when it gets to me but then, there are moments when I'm having such a good time I don't think about it at all.

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Living with Lichen planus

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Sarah Berry

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