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A rude awakening: Part 1

11/22/2011

I'm sorry to say that cynical (or should that be sin-ical?) little me didn't expect to find anything particularly new at Erotica. Well imagine my ever so pleasant surprise when I stumbled across the Little Rooster vibrating alarm clock (£69). It actually wakes you up by buzzing your fanny!

This nifty, polycarbonate (what iMacs are made of), rechargable-via-USB little gadget boasts 27 silent settings plus three extra powerful "turbo" levels. It's supposed to nestles on (not in) your fanny all night.

Well I've set the alarm for college tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be too excited to sleep and I will wake up with a buzz at 7.45am. I'll let you know!

For more info click on www.littleroosterstore.com. Right I'm off to zzzzzz

Retro rocker

11/22/2011

I've always loved the 70s: the flares, the free love, The Kinks. In fact t'was the decade that I was spawned. So it does seem rather apt that I now have a retro muff to match my passion. OK I know porn muffs were huge and curly, but my little growers are getting there.

Anyway I was having a root around in the cellar earlier to day and was rather chuffed to find a toy as retro as my muff (well at least it's name is!) It's a bright pink, curvy G-spot vibe called Groovy-Chick by toy company Rocks-Off (£29).

"Why was it in the cellar?" I hear you cry. Well when London women's sex toy mecca Sh! gave it to me in a press pack years ago (long before I became a Sunday Sh! girl) the idea of shoving any kind of curvy toy up my vag did not seem pleasurable. You see, until a few years ago, I was beset with a dysfunction called vaginimus where my head subconsciously tells my pelvic muscles to clamp up when I try and have sex (read more about my struggle here).

Now when my fanny is turned on it will happily take a friendly willy. Though if I stick up a straight vibe, unless I hold it, my muscles squeeze it out. Well this gorgeous, squishy silicone wonder is designed to stay put. Plus, if you want, you can actually ride it cowgirl style! Just kneel on a nest of pillows and rock back and forth.

I ran back to my boudoir, squirted myself with Liquid Silk (an amazing creamy lube used by porn stars) and settled down to watch my Scouse MILF Tanya Tate's Sex Tour of Ireland (thanks Claire from Television X for presenting me with your latest pornos at Erotcia).

Internal buzzing is still relatively new to me, so I was happy that the setting on the Groovy Chick is not too intense, not too gentle. A little rub of my clit helped me to intensify the pleasure. Ten minutes later, my pelvic muscles were spasming around the toy - without pushing it out!

Ladies and gents, I'm happy to report that the Groovy Chick exited parts that other toys are yet to reach. I highly reccommned. Peace out dear Muffers!

Pubes and porn

11/17/2011

Is porn to blame for the current trend in shaven havens? Pornographer and Fannying Around guest speaker Liselle Bailey gets to the front bottom of our burning questions

How are your pubes?
My pubes need a bit of a preen actually. Usually I to get it
down to a neatish short patch but I haven’t had sex since the weekend and I tend to let it run free slightly until I need to tame it! I think if I let them grow properly, I’d have quite a bush.

Can you tell us about your grooming habits?
I shave, but really I’d like to have my bikini line lasered. When I have a bit more cash I’ll do that so I don’t have
to deal with it and I won’t get any rashes ever again! I would wax but it is bloody painful, plus I’d never be able to let it grow unless I went without have sex for a month beforehand!

What’s the most common pube style in the porn industry?
All shaved off, unfortunately. Some girls keep a small amount or a landing strip but they’ve often go no pubes, which I think is a shame. I like at least a little bit on both men and women!

We used to see a lot more big bushes in porn. Why do you think this has changed?
I guess we’re so well preened these days aren’t we? Especially when it comes to our hair. I think fashion and general media probably shapes the trend. Plus in porn there’s an increased need for visibility. Porn started getting more graphic and close-up-Gonzo around the time they seemed to lose their bushes.

Is the bush coming back?
Off set, I’ve seen a couple more of late so maybe. I don’t think it will in porn though for the above reason and it just doesn’t seem to be acceptable now unless it’s a muff fetish thing!

Have you ever asked anyone to change their pube style?
No and I wouldn’t! But one of our producers at TelevisionX and Red Hot TV did a series called Shavers recently. The girls had to grow their bushes so they could be shaved during the scene. That that made a nice change.

How do you deal with shaving rash on set?
Well most of the girls don’t seem to have it –a lot have had it lasered I think. But I’d always go for trusty sudacreme. I certainly do for my own!

I heard you're asking for lady's to do porn shoots. Tell us everything.
I want women and couples who’d like me to film them to contact me please! I’m making a new series of amateurs who want to be filmed by me – no big crew, very intimate. If absolutely necessary, they can even wear a mask. I want enthusiastic, horny people! Any age, any appearance. Please get in contact at amateurs@redhottvnow.co.uk

For more from the beautiful Liselle click on www.redhottv.co.uk, view her work on You Tube or follow her on Twitter.

On the blog

11/13/2011

I've been pretty tardy at rounding up all the fag blogs about www.FanniesRule.com. Here's a job lot now. A huge, gushing thank you to all...

Journalist, feminist, antiheroine Francesca Da Rimini reports on Fannying Around here.

Do take a peek at Ruby Jones' Private Pictures parle here and Fannying Around account here.

Erotic writer is a long term fannier who celebrates Fannying around here.
Time Out invited you to find Netherland at Private Pictures here.

COMPETITION: Win Je Joue's Ami balls and an invite to our BIRTHDAY PARTY!

11/12/2011

Xmas has come early for two lucky Fanniers as the sexy folk at über toy firm Je Joue have donated two, YES TWO, of their amazing Ami balls sets to Fannies Rule.

This beautifully presented set provides the ultimate workout for your fanny. The three purple, silicone balls increase in weight and size. Start by popping in the smallest (you can put some lube on to make this easier) and then go shopping, do the housework, or whatever it is you do. Some ladies get turned on by filling filled up, some don’t even feel them, but as you go about your business, these balls will be strengthening your kegals (the muscles you use to stop your flow of wee). And strong kegals can see off incontinence, make birth easier and, best of all, better orgasms.

If you want to find out more about the Je Joue empire, including how the toys are tested, one of the team will be temporarily downing toys and speaking at the next Fannying Around on November 28. For more details click here.

How to enter
For a chance to win a set, and to secure an invite to Fannying Around’s first Birthday on Dec 8 you need to write, in 100 words or less, why you love balls. Email your answer to sarah@fanniesrule.com. Entry closes at 20:00pm on Dec 8 2011. The Balls we be awarded at Fannying Around's first birthday to be held at a secret location in London on Dec 8. Winning entries will be posted here (can be anon if you wish).

ALL ENTRANTS ARE INVITED TO FANNYING AROUND'S EXCLUSIVE FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!
I can't believe Fannying Around is almost one. To celebrate we're having a rollicking great party. There will be entertainment from our poet Mel Jones who wrote our incredible Fannying Around poem and makes us giggle and ooh as she rhymes about incontinence, porn and shafting. There's the fanny-centric comedy stylings of Janice Phayre, some hot flange fiction from KD Grace and a saucy burlesque boogie from Ruby Jones. Plus we'll be premiering some of the Fanniers art from Private Pictures. And if that's not enough, you'll be invited to wrap your chops round Ruby’s legendary fanny cakes, and sup on our new Fannytail cocktail which is currently being concocted by the London Cocktail Society (we're working on creamy with aphrodisiacs).
Good luck!

The New Joy of Sex's Susan Quilliam

11/10/2011

Prolific agony aunt, author of The New Joy of Sex and one of the world's loveliest people, Susan Quillian talks women's lib, odour, and pube manipulation

The Original Joy of Sex was famed for its wonderful hairy muffs that were typical of the time. Why do you think pubes went out of fashion?
Yes, Joy of Sex did feature amazingly hairy fannies. The illustrations, based on photos of real people, showed what most people did in 'those days - let it grow!

The text, too reflects this; Alex Comfort, the original author, even suggested one brushed and combed one's pubes. And as he says in the book, he personally wasn't into shaving.

But he wasn't completely against bare. He admits that a shaved pubes gives a usefully hard surface with which to pressure, and suggests that a woman wants to shave, she trims each side to leave a strip nowadays we'd probably call that a Brazilian.

Why has hair gone out of fashion?
No research on this, but my personal opinion is that it's partly down to hygiene, partly down to functionality and - in the case of female pubes, partly down to a modern liking for women to seem as feminine and therefore as unhairy as possible.

In the 1970s, women's liberation claimed equality and that meant not having to shave. In 2011 we claim equality with difference, value our femininity and depilate, depilate, depilate.

In your new version, the models have neatly trimmed triangles. How did you choose this style?
I didn't choose - the models themselves did! They turned up already trimmed.

In fact, I had little input into picking the couple, who were chosen by the publishers; I might have preferred a mixture of models, showing different ages and races, but I was presented with a fait accompli. And when I met the couple, they were so lovely and easy to work with that I was very happy with the publishers' choice. We did several days of photoshoots and those shots were then used not only for the book's photos but also the drawings.

Are there any benefits to being bushy or shaven?
As to shaven, or partly shaven, shaven genitals are less likely to harbour odour, are easier to 'get at', are smoother to touch and can be more sensitive. Plus, shaven cocks are less likely to get hairs painfully caught if he's using a condom.

That said, why not have full pubic hair if both partners like it. The 'odour' it harbours can be a huge turn-on, the real 'smell of a woman' (or a man). And when it comes to femininity, perhaps we should be proud of our pubes - they're one of the outward signs that we're fully mature!

Do you get any letters relating to pube problems?
Most of the pube problem letters are around the woman wanting to get rid of her pubes completely because she hates to be hairy - that's often down to her thinking that pubes make her 'dirty', and so I advise aiming at more self-acceptance and body love.

I rarely get letters from guys agonising around pubes - theirs or their partners. I do think that worry about hair is much more a girl thing.

If a lover’s long pubes get in the way of oral sex, should we ask them to trim?
By all means ask - but always nicely, not critically. If a partner balks, then try to find out why. Is it that they don't want to because it's too much hassle - in which case perhaps make trimming or shaving something you do for them lovingly, perhaps as part of foreplay.

If the reason a partner doesn't want to trim is more about 'love me as I am', then that's different. A few hairs in your mouth might be worth it to show your beloved that you really, really accept them.

Do you have any pube tips?
Alex Comfort was heavily into 'pube play' and loved to 'caress... twirl... pull". He also claimed that it was possible, by manipulating the pubes, to stimulate the whole vulva to the point of orgasm. I've never heard of anyone being able to actually do that, but the vital thing, as with all good sex, is to experiment - see what different movements, pressures and rhythms can do!

Can I ask, do you laser, wax, shave or trim?
I vary! I love my pubes but a shaven fanny can create a much, much stronger response...

Visit Susan at her website here

The plaster caster

11/9/2011

He's convinced 100s of women to spread their legs in the name of art, won an erotic award and flummoxed airport customs officers around the world. But Jamie McCartney is surely most of proud of the fact that he is the first man to ever appear on www.FanniesRule.com

Tell us about The Great Wall of Vagina
I cast, over the course of 5 years, the vaginas (well the vulva area in fact) of hundreds of volunteers. The Great Wall of Vagina is an exploration of women's relationships with their genitals. When I assembled the first panel of 40 casts in summer 2008, I stepped back disappointed. I realised the sculpture would need to be much bigger to have the impact I wanted. From this original piece (called Design A Vagina) has grown an epic sculpture. The final piece now has 400 casts arranged in 10 panels of 40.

Why are in you so interested in vaginas?
A lot of my work is based on the human body and I mostly work with women's bodies. I just prefer them. The Great Wall of Vagina came about in response to the anxiety, I discovered, that many women feel about their genitals. I'd say I'm more interested in women per se than vaginas specifically. Having said that, professional work aside, outside of the studio I maintain a healthy recreational interest. No shame in that. The human race would die out pretty fast if nobody was interested in vaginas!

Can you tell us about the different fannies you've seen?
Well that's not an easy question to answer. They are all different yet all variations on a theme. No real surprises then in the five years since I started the project. I suppose that transgenderred men and women's are fairly different and I've seen some pretty exuberant "piericings. In truth though I think that out of the whole wall of 400 of them, it is the identical twins" and the "before and after labialplasty" casts that people ask to be shown most often. Humans are, as a species, very inquisitive and I think sexual curiosity is the norm.

What's the most common style pubes amongst your casters?
When I started the project in 2006 I'm pretty sure a Brazilian was the most common. These days I see more Hollywoods. Perhaps this trend leaves more space for the vajazzles which I've started to see.

And the most unusual?
Bright red dyed pubes to match the head hair. Amazing!

Do you have any preferences?
Personally I prefer some hair but like most men I think we're pretty grateful for whatever turns up. I haven't seen the full bush since forever. I miss it. Bring back the bush!

How are your pubes?
They're fine, thank you! The details of my short and curlys are quite inconsequential!

Do you have anything else to add?
Well I'm working on some new vagina panels and some new experimental photographic work at the moment so I need as many volunteers to model as I can get. Just email for more info. One of the vagina panels is going to include a cast of a woman from every country in the world. If you are from overseas and are living here or are visiting this country and want to
represent your country then do please get in touch. I'd like to have it finished in time for the Olympics...

Also The Great Wall of Vagina book which features life size images of all the vaginas and the stories of 100 of the women who took part is available through the website and on Amazon if you'd like to see what all the fuss is about.

What should women do if they want to be a part of your projects?
Anyone who would like to volunteer for one of my projects or wants toorder a cast for themselves can get in touch via the website: www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk

Pube-ishment

11/8/2011

We talk mullet muffs, pube clippers and bollock-bushes with delightful dominatrix Ms Slide

Is their any Sado masochistic fun to be had with pubes?
Definitely. Gentlemen’s bollock-bushes are gloriously sensitive, so a little yank of one of his curly hairs can send a chap squealing. One sub was going a bit bald on top, so I pulled out most of his man-muff and put it in a pile on his head.

How are your pubes?
My current style is to neatly trim it at the front, then shave it round the sides and underneath, kind of like the opposite of a mullet.

What other styles have you had?
I’ve tried varying my nether-topiary from time to time, but I definitely like to have a bit of carpeting down there, even if it’s just a small landing strip or clitler moustache to remind myself that I’m the right side of puberty. Having the whole lot off has never really suited me. When it starts to grow back, the designer stubble makes me think I look like one of the Mitchell brothers doing a handstand - which definitely doesn’t feel sexy.

Would you ever dye, perm or plait your bush?
I never grow it long enough to do much with, but I might give it a go. I rather like it in the colour and style it is already though.

How often do you groom your bush?
I use pube-clippers on it about once a week to keep it at a manageable length, and normally shave around the edges every few days so it doesn’t start trying to wander off down my thighs.

Do you ever get shaving rash? If so how do you deal with it?
I tend to shave gently, and with a sharp razor, so a rash doesn’t tend to be much of a problem. The elastic of my knickers sometimes chafes a bit though, so I avoid tight pants straight after a grooming session.

Has your relationship to your pubes changed over the years?
If left to grow naturally, my bush would be dark, lustrously long and very Mediterranean, but I never let it get as big as it would in the wild. When I was younger, I was quite self conscious that I had proper pubes instead of the faint little wisp of cobweb-like nothingness that some of the girls at school had, but actually it turned out that most of them were just late developers and hadn’t had the right hormones kick in yet. I’ve come to adore my own muff over the years. There’s something undeniably sexy about feeling soft, glossy hair beneath your fingers as it frames a warm, wet cunt.

For more of Ms Slide visit her website here

Ovarian Cancer Action

11/7/2011

I aim to help raise money and awareness for Ovarian Cancer Action.

I’ll admit, like many women, I did not know much about Ovarian Cancer until I looked at the charity’s site. I was shocked to discover:

· Ovarian cancer is the fifth most common cancer in females in the UK and the second most common gynaecological cancer after uterus. There were over 6,500 new cases of ovarian cancer diagnosed in 2008 in the UK, that is around 126 women every week, 18 women a day.

· It is the highest gynaecological killer of women in the UK and the fourth most common cause of death from cancer in women. Around two thirds of those diagnosed will die from the disease.

· If found in the early stages, up to 90% of women will survive for more than five years. Unfortunately, most women in the UK are not diagnosed with ovarian cancer until it has already spread, making successful treatment difficult, and survival rates much lower.

To find out more about Ovarian Cancer, visit www.ovarian.org.uk.

Tuppy Owens

11/7/2011

In between running Night of the Senses were flying, gold cocks are awarded to erotic pioneers and money is raised for the Outsiders charity which helps disabled people to network, the great Tuppy Owens has kindly given us a moment with her muff...

Are pubes sexy
Of course, I love the variety of textures and colours. I feel a bit sorry for women who have hair almost reaching their tummy buttons because it must be a bit difficult to find general acceptance.

Running the Erotic Awards, you must have come across a lot of erotica. What have been the weirdest / sexiest or best muff displays you've seen?
Actually one of the funniest things was Annie Sprinkle at the ICA doing an autobiographic performance. She showed photos of her in porn and then lifted her dress up to expose a full bush. The audience roared with laughter. Also, the latest book by Nicholson Baker (who wrote the popular book Vox) House of Holes includes the view that to be truly naked, you need a full growth of pubic hair.
What style are your pubes?
Shaved to leave the labia hair-free.

How have your pubes changed over the years?
Mostly unshaven, except near upper leg when swimwear came up high at the sides, till a couple of decades or so ago, then the current style. I once pulled a guy at a nightclub in Birmingham and, back in my hotel, he wanted to shave everything off. I agreed and we had a great night. Next day, I was due to check out a nudists' swim further north for the Sex Maniac's Diary. When I arrived, I was the only woman there. I stood at the side of the pool naked, no pubes and miniscule titties, and felt really vulnerable — it seemed I'd created paedo-paradise !

Why do you think so many younger people do not like a full bush?
Fashion, porn influence, men don't like getting hair between their teeth, a dislike of what is natural, finding it animal, tribal, old-world, perhaps (which is why I like it).

Do you wish there were more pubes in porn?
Yes, I wish porno could become more natural and realistic, rather than fake and formulaic.

Any tips for playing with pubes?
I don't really like having mine played with, rather like the discomfort of having a new parting. Unless you mean planting one in someone's ice cream ? Or being creative with your own pubes with ribbons and dye?

Anything else to add?
I was thinking lately that catching crabs must be the downfall of many a adulterer who takes all safer sex precautions but then find they've infected the whole family. That would take some explaining. A good reason to be honest.

If you'd like to join Tuppy at the 2012 Night of the Senses, click here

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